I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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