if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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