That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
