Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize