I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
