At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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