how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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