Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
