its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
