Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
