i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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