is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
