i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
