I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fuck appropriateness.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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