How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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