i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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