He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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