Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Where is the hickey?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
