i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
