Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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