My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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