i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
