somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The air was thick with penises
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
