"it" just moved
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Blood and glitter go together right?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
