Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
