New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
