spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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