I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize