Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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