her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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