i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize