i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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