Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
