I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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