Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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