3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
