He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
