I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
