You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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