Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
its not stalking. its research.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
