i barfeds in our rink
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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