No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i came on her dog
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
