I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
