the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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