She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Less talking, more tequila
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
