just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
