Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation