I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
