everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
