Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
