I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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