I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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