But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
