today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize