I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
