Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
