my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
