i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
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Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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