i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
whose parrot is this?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
