Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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